My teen started dating, now what?

Dating, while often daunting for parents, is a normal part of being a teenager. So, how do you guide your teen when they start this phase of their lives?

While many parents may feel anxious about their teen dating, it’s important to remember that this is a normal and healthy part of adolescence. In fact, experts agree that dating helps teenagers build social and relationship skills. ‘As kids enter the teenage years, hormones kick in, and young people naturally become more aware of their attraction to others,’ explains Dr Esther Price, a Johannesburg-based clinical psychologist. ‘Teen dating also offers the next step in learning about trust, care, identity, conflict and relating healthily to a romantic partner,’ she adds.

A WHOLE NEW WORLD…
Parents also need to recognise that today’s teen dating scene differs significantly from that of previous generations. ‘Today’s children start dating earlier,’ explains Price. Cellphones and the dominance of social media have also changed the teen dating experience.

Related articles: 101 on teens & their screens

COMMUNICATION IS KEY
A teenager’s brain tends to be more impulsive, and their regulating skills are not yet fully developed, explains Price. ‘Thus, it’s harder for them to resist certain urges and to navigate some of the challenges that come with dating.’

Therefore, it is critical to foster a caring and supportive dialogue with your teen around dating, sex and relationships. Initiating open and ongoing conversations around the pros and cons of sex is equally important. However, if you struggle to communicate with your teen, you can access help, information and resources online or call the Jet Club Personal Health Advisor for support services.

 “Parents have to find ways of being open and non-judgemental so that they can help set boundaries in a way that doesn’t stop their kids from communicating with them.” DR ESTHER PRICE

Related article: Get your teenager to confide in you

DEFINING DATING RULES
Parents also need to guide and set limits for teens. For instance, Price recommends teens only start dating when they are emotionally mature and ready to manage the pressures and responsibilities of dating. She suggests the age of 16 as this is when most teens start showing an interest in dating.

Boundaries must also be highlighted. ‘They protect teenagers from being hurt, manipulated and taken advantage of in a relationship,’ explains Price. This is important given that statistics indicate that one in three teenagers and young adults between the ages of 16 and 24 have experienced some kind of abusive dating situation, adds Price.

Related article: Is your child hanging with the wrong crowd?

A SOURCE OF SUPPORT
‘Parents have to find ways of being open and non-judgemental so that they can help set boundaries in a way that doesn’t stop their kids from communicating with them,’ she explains. This will help nurture an open, respectful, and trusting parent-child dynamic, allowing you to best support and guide your teen.

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